Moving Forward So Fast

Being a graduate student means a large majority of your life revolved around numbers.  The number of hours you must complete to graduate.  The number of people you need in order to make your thesis research valid.  The number of projects you have left to complete and the number of hours you don't have to complete them.  As an out of control idealist, I wish I could forget all of those trivial numbers and how much they irritate me, to focus on the number of people I can affect on a daily basis.  As this blog is titled, An Adventure in Student Affairs, our focus and my focus should be the students.  The people. 
Ultimately there will be administrative tasks to whatever position I will work in my lifetime.  It will be the way I manage, think about, and act upon these tasks that will make all the difference.  By complaining about the paperwork needed to complete a task, I have just spent more time on the administrative task than I should have.  Instead of complaining about how much I hate travel authorization forms, I will send an email to or sit down with a student I have seen struggling.  Lord knows I would rather be doing this task than completing paperwork. 

While I typically treat numbers quite poorly, I also recognize their significance.  For example, the number of days until I start my new job or graduate.  These dwindling numbers mean I have a limited amounts of time to spend with my peers and continue to learn from them.  In the past I would have let this terrify me.  I would have been so afraid to lose friends and mentors that it would have paralyzed my ability to function.  Not anymore.  Perhaps one of the reasons I am more comfortable now is because I know how to find them on Facebook and stalk the hell out of them.  The other reason is that I know the bonds and relationships I create now can withstand much more than I may even know.  Not talking to someone in five months doesn't mean you don't value the relationships, it means you are busy. 

If you have ever read Malcolm Gladwell's, The Tipping Point (I hope that's the right book), you know there are different types of people.  I am a connector.  Every part of me in a connector.  I know people who know people.  I don't even use them for personal gain.  I make relationships with people because it is truly what I love to do.  If there is such a diagnosis as a "hopeless extrovert," I would have that disease.  Hands down.  My adventure in student affairs is just beginning, but I am sure it will take me far and wide and meet plenty of people.  I will be able to connect with anyone and everyone, everywhere. 

Time for me is moving forward so fast.  My days truly are numbered, but the good kind of numbered.  I'm beyond excited for what comes next. 

Moving forward so fast...but not too fast. 

Who I Am, Who I'm Not, and What I Want to Be.

Throughout courses and my experiences in the last six months or so of graduate school, I have come across some issues that really strike home to me.  They were character defining discussions that have helped me to realize the type of administrator, friend, peer, and educator I want to be.  However, I cannot help but have this sinking feeling that I will eventually lose sight of that person.  I will lose sight of the thinker, dreamer, and innovator I am in graduate school, when thinking outside the box is typically valued.  The pessimism I see out of my peers and co-workers is not something I want for myself.  So, in light of these fears, I have decided to create a visible document of who I am, who I'm not, and who I want to be.  (This is in fact a line from a song by The Fray and no I will not cite this APA style.  I refuse.)  This document will be written in my own handwriting, framed, and hung in plain view of somewhere I am everyday.  In this blog post, I will highlight some of things that have run through my mind.  In many of these, you may realize they are situational.  It may be I have never experienced the real life situation before and therefore my theoretical idea of how I will act or react is unlikely or unreasonable.  Either way, these are my goals for myself.  I want to remember the person I am now in hopes of being a better person later. 
Here are some of my ideas:

1.) I hope to always remember that I was once a freshmen, first generation, undergraduate, and graduate student.  The type of student may change, but no matter what, I started at ground zero.  I was petrified too.

2.) The phrase "do not re-invent the wheel" is unacceptable to use. It prevents innovation. 

3.) Do not turn a blind eye to student needs simply because, you "do not have enough funding," or "That isn't politically correct or socially acceptable."  Creativity should be valued, and money should never limit the learning opportunities I provide to students.

4.) There is never a teaching moment, always a learning moment. This is not just for students, but for myself as well. 

5.) I may be the boss, but it doesn't mean I'm a better person.

6.) Smiling at students, peers, faculty, and administrators is one of the best ways to bridge a gap. 

7.) Complaining without action solves nothing. Your hands are only tied until you untie them. 

8.) It is okay to be rejected, to say no, and to disagree.

9.) Numbers are important, but not the end all be all. 

And my final goal for myself...

10.) If you no longer feel like being at work early or on time...you are not doing the job you were meant to. 

Although some of these things may show my lack of experience, I think they are goals and ideas to uphold as long as possible. 

As I grow and change in this profession, I hope to remember who I am, who I'm not, and who I want to be. 

What's Happening to Me

The last week or two has been filled with busyness beyond belief.  (What a wonderful alliteration!) From flying out to family for a celebration of life, to work obligations, it all feels like I'm spinning more plates than I can handle.  Everyone wants my time and I just want to keep it for myself.  It has become quite apparent that I need to start giving my time to those who need it and deserve it most.  For example, my homework, assistantship, and me will be the first to get their share.  It is only fair.  The priorities of graduate student in Student Affairs requires this in my opinion.  

Part of the reason my time seems so valuable is the treacherous job search ahead of me.  Each meeting we have with professionals, the more this aspect is being pushed.  I am applying for jobs, but they make it sound like I won't find one until I apply to 80+ positions.  How many times can I write my address and qualifications before I obtain carpal tunnel? As I apply to these jobs, I'm thinking about what my life could look like in this new location.  I have never lived outside of the Midwest and many jobs that interest me are in the Southwest region.  None of my family members are there and I haven't even visited.  It is not that I expect these places to be a wonderful dream land, I'm just curious. 

The longer I job search, the more I feel myself growing up.  I've worked in a full time position before and lived in my own apartment, but that doesn't feel real now.  I almost wonder what's happening to me?  Am I ready to completely on my own?  Am I ready to live away from my greatest support system for the adventure and experiences of a lifetime?  My first answer is, yes.  Yes, I am ready to use all of the skills I have attained and will attain to be successful.  My second answer is maybe.  Maybe I'll be so frustrated and homesick I'll move home after only a year. My last answer is, I don't know.  I won't know until I try.  So that's what I'll set out to do...try. 

What's happening to me is life.  Go with it. 

Technologically Stunted

For most of my life, technology has never been an issue.  I grew up in a household where both parents were familiar with computers, internet, databases, and much more.  This was definitely not the case for most of my friends growing up in a blue, on the verge of turning white collar town.  Technology has never scared me nor deterred me.  It was another gadget and another skill to learn.  So today when I looked around a room of student affairs professionals and graduate students, I was surprised to see many who were not "on board." This is NOT okay. 

When I look around this campus I see iPods, iPhones, iPads, laptops, Blackberries, Androids, and other electronic devices that are working to keep the students connected to anyone and everyone.  So when I see an administrator or professional rejecting the technology our students are using to connect, I see them rejecting our students.  We set up these beautifully ideal task forces and brainstorming groups to come up with ways to connect, but do the powers that be embrace what they have to say?  Today Eric Stoller spoke about the Dean of Students at Boston University.  He is an administrator and a peer.  The Dean of Students has students following him and is connected to their lives and the life of the school.   Isn't that what we all want?  We want to be treated as equals and as peers and have a connection.  So why do we shut down and shut out our students? Why do we refuse their friendship request on Facebook or follower request on Twitter?  We are stunting the growth of our programming and our communities by communicating to our students they are not worthy of getting to know us. 

As a resident assistant and now supervisor of a tele-counseling program, I did not allow my students to be friends with me on Facebook or Twitter.  I thought it somehow diminished my authority.  It was not until today I realized my authority is not based upon my friendship status, but rather the way I interact and hold myself with these PEERS.  They have good reason to want to get to know me.  I should also want to get to know them.  My supervisory relationship will not be destroyed if I get to know my students on a deeper level, it will  be strengthened. 

My goal for the remainder of my year as an SAGrad, I want to focus on not rejecting technology, but using it as my ally.  I want to have conversations with those people who can influence the technology on campus.  I want to speak intelligently about the needs of our students and our department.  I want to take what I have learned today and use it. 



I refuse to remain technologically stunted because some feel it is ruining me as a professional.  I will use this power for good. 

An Abrupt Beginning

For the last year or two I had considered starting a blog.  It could have been my venting mechanism.  It could been my networking tool.  It could have been another way to stay connected to my family.  Each of those reasons exposed more vulnerability than the next idea. I was afraid I would share this blog, lose excitement, and quit posting.  I was terrified those reading it would only judge and I would lose face.  I was afraid no one would read it and I would feel no satisfaction.  In fact, what would I write about to be sure no one would be upset or offended.  It was not until the last few months when my mindset began to change.  

My cousin, an extremely intelligent worker, father, and friend, began his own blog in the last few months.  What you must know about my cousin is that he is meticulous and a perfectionist to an almost painful level.  He started his first blog and acknowledged how difficult it was to get beyond the perfectionism, to just start writing.  This was the first a-hah moment.  The next moment happened only an hour ago.  Through a wonderful opportunity in my Student Affairs graduate program, I was able to meet a radical in our field, Eric Stoller.  He told a story about his own blogging and the vulnerabilities that come with it.  He spoke to us about the importance of technology going beyond Facebook, Twitter, and other social media.  I found myself having opinions and drive to be a part of these conversations.  This was the final boost and ideas I needed to begin my very own blog.  

This blog will not be about my daily irritations.  It will not revolve around what I had for lunch or how my life is going at that very second.  It will however, chronicle my experiences and life as an up and coming student affairs professional.  Stories of my life and the people in it are bound to appear.  This blog is not meant to become viral, but meant to be an outlet and a source of information.  This blog is meant to use technology as a means to share information and gain greater insight into a field I am passionate about.  As a current graduate student I have millions of pieces of information being thrown at me daily.  Some of those pieces stick and I can explore them further on here.  An internal dialogue can take place and I can work through some of my own thought processes. 

My ultimate goal for this blog is self-serving.  I want to see my own growth.  I want to evolve in this technology.  If I don't blog for two weeks, I don't blog for two weeks.  However, I get the feeling that now that this is out there, my desire to post will increase.  

As for now, this is my abrupt beginning to an adventure in student affairs.